ITS ME!
10-18-2011, 02:32 PM
Sister Margaret had been a Nun all her life. Then she was called to
her reward. As she approached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter said,
"Hold on, Sister Margaret; not so fast!"
"But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the work of the
Lord from the time I was taken in as an infant by the sisters at the
Convent to my dying breath. I have lived for this moment!" Sister
Margaret exclaimed in disbelief.
"That is just the problem," replied St. Peter. "You never learned
right from wrong and, to get into Heaven, you must know the
difference between right and wrong.
"Well, what can I do? I will do anything to get into Heaven!" Sister
Margaret pleaded.
"I am going to have to send you back down to Earth. When you
get there I want you to smoke a cigarette and call me when you
are finished. We will discuss your situation then," ordered St. Peter.
Sister Margaret returned to Earth, smoked a Camel, and then
immediately called St. Peter, coughing and hacking. "Saint Peter"
she gasped, "I can hardly breathe, my mouth tastes terrible, my
breath stinks, I feel dizzy, and I think I am going to throw up."
"Good!" replied the old Saint. "Now you are finally getting a feel
for right and wrong. Now go out tonight and drink some hard liquor
and call me when you are ready."
Sister Margaret phoned St. Peter immediately after having several
belts of Jack Daniel's. "Saint Peter.......I feel woozy. That vile
liquor burned my throat and nauseated me. It is all I can do to
keep it down."
"Good, good! Now you are starting to see the difference between
right and wrong," said St. Peter with delight. "Tomorrow I want
you to seek out a man and know him in the Biblical sense. You
know, Have sex with him, afterward, call me."
Two weeks passed before Sister Margaret called St. Peter and left
a message:
"Yo, Pete, It's Peggy.........It's gonna be a while
her reward. As she approached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter said,
"Hold on, Sister Margaret; not so fast!"
"But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the work of the
Lord from the time I was taken in as an infant by the sisters at the
Convent to my dying breath. I have lived for this moment!" Sister
Margaret exclaimed in disbelief.
"That is just the problem," replied St. Peter. "You never learned
right from wrong and, to get into Heaven, you must know the
difference between right and wrong.
"Well, what can I do? I will do anything to get into Heaven!" Sister
Margaret pleaded.
"I am going to have to send you back down to Earth. When you
get there I want you to smoke a cigarette and call me when you
are finished. We will discuss your situation then," ordered St. Peter.
Sister Margaret returned to Earth, smoked a Camel, and then
immediately called St. Peter, coughing and hacking. "Saint Peter"
she gasped, "I can hardly breathe, my mouth tastes terrible, my
breath stinks, I feel dizzy, and I think I am going to throw up."
"Good!" replied the old Saint. "Now you are finally getting a feel
for right and wrong. Now go out tonight and drink some hard liquor
and call me when you are ready."
Sister Margaret phoned St. Peter immediately after having several
belts of Jack Daniel's. "Saint Peter.......I feel woozy. That vile
liquor burned my throat and nauseated me. It is all I can do to
keep it down."
"Good, good! Now you are starting to see the difference between
right and wrong," said St. Peter with delight. "Tomorrow I want
you to seek out a man and know him in the Biblical sense. You
know, Have sex with him, afterward, call me."
Two weeks passed before Sister Margaret called St. Peter and left
a message:
"Yo, Pete, It's Peggy.........It's gonna be a while